/Dolly Rockers – Gold Digger

Dolly Rockers – Gold Digger

This week the girls from wannabe girl band Dolly Rocker have reportedly called a ‘crisis meeting with their record label’ after not featuring on Radio 1’s playlist.

My crisis meeting this week has been watching their video :

The only way to describe it is an explosion in a topshop sponsored recording studio which has Stool Pigeon recording ‘Kid Creole and The Coconuts’ one side and the Ting Tings shutupandletmeGO’ing the other. Pop in a scream styled on the Bangles style walk-like-an-egyptian woahehow to complete the mix.

Atomic Kitten Auditions Circa Liverpool 1997
Atomic Kitten Auditions Circa Liverpool 1997

This is nothing new as their first er, hit, “Je Suis Une Dolly” was a modern day take on the Bill Wyeman classic “Je Suis Un Rock Star“. What is odd, is the complaints from the girls when T-Mobile dared to use mobile phone footage along side flash-mobs for advertising, an idea which was obviously exclusive to the Dollies. Double standards? Nah.

The Dolly Rockers are ex-X-ex-X-ex-X-you-get-the-idea-Factor, where in 2006 they reached the boot camp stage only to get a sour face look from Irish pop gnompresario Louis Walsh which spelled the end of their competition. I really like Louis, and if you want to spend a more productive time than watching the Gold Digger vid, you could hunt down the footage and do a JFK-esque style freeze frame back-and-to-the-left at the exact moment he realises they are crap.

The girls have reappeared in 2009 with the bedrock of any promo, a slagging off a similar group! Yes, they said The Saturdays “could have been five completely different girls and nobody would have given a s**t“.

Taking the anti-glamour model stand
Taking the anti-glamour model stand

The not-so-s-club-junior Rochelle Wiseman zinged back by calling them ‘chavs‘ and saying “Well they could be any three girls because I don’t even know who the hell they are.

Pop fact for Wiseman is she is dating Darren Randolph, a goalkeeper who is currently on loan at Hereford Utd. Thats not the fact, the fact is they have a dog called Tiger Randolph, why it wasnt called Tiger Wiseman I do not know.

I thought I should give more focus to reviewing the video, however to keep this article in key with it, I shall stick to the low budget theme. To get this effect at home, perhaps video yourself via a mobile phone reading it while standing a desk?

I really dont want to rate this song/video lowly, however the vid finishes with the blonde one doing a cheeky bit of fly-posting with the message “you have been dolly rockered” and that I cannot condone.